The Only Easy Day
by RainaParker
Summary: His words rang in her head 'The only easy day was yesterday.' But she couldn't recall yesterday.
1. Chapter 1

His words rang in her head 'The only easy day was yesterday.' But she couldn't recall yesterday. Her head throbbed with each beat of her heart like a bass drum lodged in her skull. Her sight was obscured by swelling. Thump, thump, thump. Her heartbeat vibrated in her brain.

Taking a panted and small breath she tried not to cry. The next blow might be too much. It might end her. But it might only knock her out and that might be a blessing.

The chains connected to a wooden beam above her head. The very tips of her toes touched the floor. She swung her to the left as the hose started pounding water at her on the right. This was new. Every muscle tensed as the ice water rained down on her with what felt like the pressure of a firehose. She bucked and twisted. There was no evading the frigid water. Her skin felt frozen, goosebumps covered her body. The shaking made her bruised and battered body hurt more than she would have ever thought possible.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to plead. She wanted to beg her captors to leave her. Wanted to scream out in agony.

Instead she hung from the chains dangling from the ceiling. The blood running down the arms the only warmth she had. She took another shaking breath... only about half the air she had wanted to reach her lungs made it in her.

The water washed dirt and blood away while she shook and contemplated her injuries. Her left eye was so swollen it was useless to even wonder if she would have sight in it again, time would tell. At least a few cracked or more likely broken ribs. Cuts to her wrists from the chains digging into her flesh. Her right knee too mangled to think about right now. But at least the wounds would be clean, if the water wasn't contaminated. They would never find her before an infection ravaged her broken body if it were tainted.

Dispite the cold her head lolled side to side. Her eyes drifting closed. She imagined rescue. She dreamed of Bravo.


	2. Chapter 2

The cell if that's what you wanted to call it was stone and mud. The door was metal and shut with a resounding thud. Solitude amplified the pain somehow.

Each and every breath a struggle against the brokenness of her ribs. A constriction she had never experienced before. The slight cough from the day before intensified and expelled the air from her lungs with such force that the pain made the vision she still had left in her right eye blurry.

They had asked her over and over again what her name was and what government she worked for. She had told them over and over that her name was Amanda Kline and that she worked for a Canadian charity. She had said it so many times that she was starting to believe her own lies. She probably would have fully believed it if not for Bravo. If she was no longer Mandy Ellis... Bravo wouldn't come and she needed Bravo to come.

Shivering from both the cold and her feverish state she dropped into a dreamless fitful sleep. Waking in pain. Drifting back into oblivion. The shivering turned into shaking. She wondered how much time she had left allowing her mind to wander and imagine rescue.

If she could hold on until they arrived she may have a chance. Minutes turned to hours, hours to what she was sure were days. Holding on may not be possible.

A morbid thought crossed her mind. Would the autopsy show all the details? How hard she had fought? Would they blame themselves? Instinctively she knew they would.

Jason would rage for a bit then turn in on himself and sulk. Ray would question God but not his faith. Trent would read the entire autopsy report and determine when she could have still been saved. Clay would cry, unashamedly and without his masculinity questioned, both for her loss and his perceived failure. Sonny would drink trying to forget but wouldn't forget. Brock would turn to Cerberus training the dog harder and physically punishing himself. Yes they would all grieve in some way but it would be the guilt that truly distroyed them.

And so she took another breath. And another. She would continue to struggle and fight. For Bravo because they would come. And when they came she had to still be here.

Time was impossible to tell. A moment felt like a day and an hour a minute. She counted her breaths for a while trying to keep track of time before realizing that her breathing was far too irregular to have an accuracy in timekeeping.

She thought back to the Agency's version of SERE training. It's glaring inadequacy now apparent. Survival would not be easy and the credit if she managed to accomplish it would go solely to Bravo, for what she had learned just knowing the men.

As she was questioned, beaten, and groped she thought of Bravo. Pictured their faces. Their voices sounded in her head. Jason telling her to fight, Trent telling her relief was coming, Sonny promised to end the bastards, Ray quietly praying beside her, Clay told her how strong she was while sounding broken, and Brock telling her Cerb would stay with her. She pictured the dog guarding her, could almost feel his warmth beside her.

As the pain radiated up and down her body the thought of Bravo was her solace. There was no doubt they would come. She just had to survive until they did.


	3. Chapter 3

Blackburn stook his head at Davis. This was now four days that Mandy had missed checking in with her handler. The Canadian government receiving a ransom demand for her alias was the final straw. It was time to brief Bravo.

Bravo, who inevitably would not take the news well, sat in the briefing room waiting. The reactions were exactly as expected... Jason yelled, Ray sighed, Sonny cursed, Clay asked a million questions, Brock scowled, and Trent questioned the possibility of her condition all while Cerberus whined and stomped his front paws.

"Do we know where she is?"

"What conditions is she being kept in?"

"They've had her four days?"

"Have we recovered hostages from them before?"

"Why are we just finding out?"

"Do we have proof of life? Or is this a recovery?" Brock's words stopped all conversation.

"We strongly believe Agent Ellis is still alive but have no proof of life." Blackburn's formality wasn't lost on anyone. If this was a recovery for the sake of the mission he had to ignore his friendship with the rescued or possibly recovered. "Intel is working on a location and we are a go as soon as they have one."

Davis lowered her head as she felt the enormity of her task and the eyes of Bravo land on her. Mandy was a friend. Probably if she were honest one of her best friends. Knowing it was her responsibility to bring her home wasn't lost on Davis as she directed the actions of the enlisted below her. Today they would figure it out. Today with the information from their northern allies they would find her.

Trent packed and repacked his med kit. He double checked the doses of medication for her 132lbs. Reminding himself over and over that she would need less than his brothers of any and all meds. He did his best to get her medical records but had been stonewalled with very basic information. Hoping against hope he would get to her in time and that he wouldn't screw this up when he did.

Ray thought of his time im Kashmir. Thought of all Mandy had sacrificed for his sake. She had risked her career to save his life and he was more than willing to risk his life to save hers. He prayed it would never come to that but knew his decision if it did.

Clay had known her the least amount of time and yet the idea of her being held captive made his blood boil. He thought of the string woman who never seemed afraid and hoped her fear didn't overwhelm her. Fear changed people. Usually in a way that broke them. Thinking back to his own fears after Manila he wondered how he made it through but he did.

Sonny punched a bag. The fight in him ready even if the target package wasn't. He thought of sharing a beer with her on the C17 more times than he could count as he pounded the back until his knuckles beneath the gloves ached. He wasn't sure how to wait for news, wait for action but he did.

Brock gave Cerb her jacket that had been accidentally forgotten on the plane. Cerb put his ears back as he got the scent. His dog recognized who they were going to search for and as Brock stroked his head and looked into his soulful brown eyes he wondered if he would be able to handle this but he did.

Jason paced. He thought of all the times Mandy Ellis had saved his figurative and sometimes his literal ass. When she sat with him after Alana. When she talked him down in the Taco place. When she risked everything for his team. He couldn't count the ways he relied on her. He tried to think of every time she had been there and hoped she knew he was coming. He knew she knew, she had too, he did.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N~ TRIGGER WARNING. This chapter very strongly alludes to sexual assult. It is not explicit but may be triggering to those who have dealt with that trauma. If you have been following this story and don't want to read this chapter feel free to PM me or comment and I will summarize the chapter for you leaving out all triggering details. I tried hard to handle this with care.**

The hands around her neck held tighter and tighter. The floor was cold. Her muddled brain focused on the coldness of the floor instead of the pressure and pain wrapped around her constricted throat.

Darkness began to invade her peripheral vision. Moving slowly toward the center of her vision staring at the up at the dark haired bearded man above her knowing once the darkness took over she would no longer feel this pain. The limpness of her body indicating her physical weakness not her unwillingness to fight. She wanted to fight, but there was simply no longer any fight left.

The rapid gunfire sounding somewhere in the compound meant they had come. Bravo was here. A tear ran down her face knowing they were minutes too late. Suddenly the man let go and climbed off her. Turning back he whispered in broken English "you scream... you die..." he moved is head in the direction the shots came from before smiling "they die." She wanted to laugh at the assumption that she even had the strength to scream. Shuttered at the thought that Bravo could die trying to save her.

For reasons Mandy would probably question for years to come she suddenly pictured her mother. The woman was as beautiful as she was intelligent. As conniving and cunning as she pretended to be sweet. The woman probably would have been an amazing asset to the Agency if she was at all trustable. But as Mandy clung to consciousness she wondered if even the rare 'I love you' from her mother had been genuine.

Bravo moved, with fluidity, as one sweeping rooms along the way. Each knowing that with every cleared room they were closer to finding her. Door after door. Room after room. Closer and closer.

As Sonny kicked opened the second to last door the sound of three rapid shots ran out. The charging man, welding a machete, was dead before he hit the ground. "Trent" was yelled before Sonny knew the name had left his own mouth.

The stench of urine was his first observation of the room. Her battered, bruised, and naked body the second. Trent moved forward intent on assessing his patient.

Clay stood in the doorway with Sonny as Ray cursed and walked down the hallway toward Jason who was calling "jackpot" into Havoc. As Trent opened his med kit next to her she started to stir.

"Mandy I need you to stay still so I can assess your injuries and then we will exfil okay?" Trent reached out as she watched and started probing her bruised ribs confirming his suspensions that they were in fact broken. As he touched her she tensed and closed her eyes. "Need you to stay awake okay?" She slowly opened her eyes as his hand moved to her swollen face.

Brock stepped into the room and watched as Trent's hands moved and and IV tubing was removed from his kit. He watched as Trent spoke to her and she repeatedly closed her eyes but didn't appear to be sleeping. Her body would tense and her fists would clench. Her jaw was rigid as she held back her screams. Moving forward he placed a hand on Trent's shoulder stilling his best friend who looked up at him questiiningly.

"Stop." Brock spoke the word quietly.

"Look at her! She needs treatment." Trent's gruff words sounded.

Brock knelt beside him and pulled a silver blanket from the man's kit. Trent scowled not only at his kit being touched but at the interference. Almost growled at the intrusion.

Laying the blanket across her nakedness Brock whispered "Mandy you are safe now. We are here. Trent needs to treat you. Can I take your hand?"

Trent suddenly understood. "Mandy I'm going to start an IV. I'm going to get some fluids in you, then I'm going to immobilize your knee. I'll tell you everything I do before I do it." As she nodded Trent exhaled and started her IV.

Trent wrapped her broken ribs. Splinted her knee hoping for her sake that it wasn't fractured. He wrapped the cuts around her wrists, doubted they would need stitches. He worked around Brock who while in the way was providing silent comfort.

She clung to his hand as a lifeline. The hand holding hers was warm and real. It was her salvation.

As they carried her to exfiltration no one spoke beyond the occasional update to Havoc or Trent whispering to her asking her if she wanted more morphine. She shook her head no but was clearly in immense pain. Brock held her hand while walking beside the stretcher. Sonny lead and Clay followed carrying her. Clay looked straight ahead and never down to her. Jason lead them and Ray watched their six.

The helo ride was a short one but it felt like an eternity. She opened her eyes on the flight and looked from one to the next knowing she could never repay them. Jason nodded to her acknowledging her but unable to speak. Trent continued to check her over, asked her to take more morphine which she refused. Clay stared out the side of the bird. Sonny who had seemed so broken to her lately smiled a real smile mouthed the words 'welcome home' and then turned to put a hand on Clay's shoulder. Brock held her hand.


	5. Chapter 5

Blackburn and Lisa rushed into the waiting room expecting to see Bravo minus Trent as the medic usually accompanied injured members when they were being treated on foreign soil. Instead they were greeted by a pacing Trent with Bravo Team minus Brock. It clearly confused both officers.

Blackburn looked at his usually unbreakable men. Clay stared at the floor. Sonny held his head in his hands. Jason stared at the wall not actually seeing anything. Ray's hands were clasped in Prayer. Trent was burning a hole in the floor pacing rapidly back and forth. The man was clearly not accustom to being left in a waiting room.

"Trent?" Blackburn looked to the man who immediately stopped and looked at him. "Why aren't you with her?"

"Uh she wanted Brock. He was holding her hand and she wouldn't let go. They only let one back." Trent started pacing again.

Lisa glanced to Sonny who had looked up when they were talking but refused to make eye contact now. She wanted to sit by the Texan, to lay her hand on his shoulder, to hold him as his tears fell. Instead she sat by Clay.

And they waited. The room was small and the humidity made all of their clothing stick desperately. Every member of Bravo craved news and a shower but it seemed as though neither were going to happen anytime soon.

After at least two hours Lisa went in search of coffee while Blackburn decided to search for information. Lisa returned with tea. Blackburn returned with nothing. And they waited.

As daylight filtered into the room the exhausted members of Bravo took turns lightly sleeping. Sonny shifted uncomfortably until Lisa moved to his side and his head fell to her shoulder. No one said a word. Clay sat on the floor, his back to a wall, with his legs outstretched slightly dozing as Trent paced and stepped over him with each pass. Ray broke protocol and called Naima just needing to hear her voice. It was obvious to her that her husband couldn't and shouldn't be calling so she spent the short call telling him about the week and home and cute things the kids had done and said. Ray's tears weren't mentioned. Jason punched a wall and sat quietly when Trent stopped pacing long enough to make sure his hand wasn't broken.

After what felt like an eternity before the door to the small waiting room finally opened. When it did Brock stood before them with shaking hands looking more broken than they felt. As Trent moved to him Brock's eyes dropped to the floor.

As Brock sunk into the nearest chair no one spoke. He ran his hands through his dark curls before they covered his face and the man who was always calm and controlled... sobbed. Gasping Brock looked up to his best friend with desperation in his eyes.

The seven hours that they had waited seemed endless. It was suddenly clear that to Brock it didn't just seem that way. As he slowed his breathing his brothers stayed back and allowed him the space to regain his composure. Finally he was more calm than hysterical.

"I'm sorry." Brock eyes roam the room before settling back to Trent.

"What's the sit-rep?" Jason asks ignoring the breakdown for all their sakes.

"Six ribs and the orbital bones of her left eye are broken. Her right knee was dislocated but they realigned it. The cuts to her wrists are superficial. She has a pretty high fever and the start of pneumonia..." Brock wasn't sure of saying more but knew that they already suspected. Taking a deep breath he continued. "And... sexual trauma." Brock closed his eyes and held his hand, the hand she had held for hours, over his heart. "They sedated her."


	6. Chapter 6

Mandy woke alone in a hospital room unsure of where she was in the world but knowing she was in a world of pain. Her eye was throbbing and making her entire head feel like it was being pounded in from the left side of her face. She tried to take a deep breath to combat the stampede of agony on her brain only to be met with the feeling of her chest being ripped apart. The coughing fit that followed sent her into a panic as pain coursed through her and not enough air reached her lungs.

She barely heard the nurse who was trying to calm her. The woman was young. Probably new to nursing but she was calm, she moved slowly, talked to Mandy like she was still human. And then sedated her.

The heat moved from her arm up to her chest. She felt fuzzy but not dizzy. Heavy and weightless at the same time. Floating and flying before the darkness eclipsed her.

When Mandy woke later the same young nurse was there. The woman smiled kindly and slowly approached. "I can get your team if you'd like. They've been in the waiting room since you arrived here yesterday."

Mandy slowly shook her head. "I need you to call my boss. He should be my emergency contact. I don't have a team. I'm not military." Her tone steady. No emotion evident.

"Oh I'm sorry. They've been camped there, I just assumed." The people in the waiting room clearly cared deeply for her and her apathy was unexpected and jarring.

"You should never assume. Tell them I'm fine and to leave." Mandy looked out the window ending the conversation. The last thing she wanted was her room crowded with their pity.

The nurse came into the waiting room filled with Bravo team sighing as she looked around. "I'm very sorry but Ms. Ellis will not be accepting visitors. She did ask me to let you know that she is doing fine."

"She doesn't want us here?" Clay asked the nurse in a childlike way.

"No she asked that you leave." While she felt terrible telling them she had to advocate for her patient regardless of whether she agreed with her.

"Well then I guess we better git." Sonny uncomfortably stood and waited for his brothers to join him.

"So we just go?" Trent thought back to the mud room so far away, to the bloodied, bruised, and tortured woman he had so badly wanted to help.

"We go. We let her have the space she wants... her injury, her recovery." Jason looked to Clay hoping for understanding and support. Clay nodded.

As Bravo team left the hospital Brock excused himself to the bathroom promising to meet them at the bar after checking on Cerb. Standing in front of the mirror he examined the dark circles under his eyes wishing for sleep but afraid of closing his eyes.

His memories took him back to high school. Brock had always been the type of person who got along with everyone. The track and field star who was also the quiz bowl champion. He switched tables at lunch with ease and rarely had an issue in any social setting. His principal had once refered to him as the most well rounded student in the school. Brock wondered at the time if that was because he had never actually found somewhere to belong but let the comment pass without a response. It was only about a month or so later that he was expelled.

He sometimes wondered if maybe he had taken different actions the outcome would have been less haunting. If maybe he had held her hand instead of using his untrained fists it would have been better. Sighing Brock left the bathroom while texting the kennel to check in on Cerb before resuming his vigil in the waiting room.


	7. Chapter 7

"Excuse me." The young nurse that had kicked Bravo Team out of the waiting room three days prior reached for his shoulder. "Sir, your phone keeps going off it's disturbing patients."

Brock woke with a start and before he knew what was happening he had twisted the wrist of the young nurse behind her back and pushed her facing forward into a wall. The small cry of pain brought him back to reality and the waking world. He immediately let go of her and took three steps back.

"I'm so sorry. You startled me and I just haven't beem sleeping very much. Again I'm sorry." Brock held his hands out palms up.

"Your phone has been going off for an hour. I'm fine but it really is time for you to go... she doesn't want any of you here. If you respect her at all, respect that decision." She rubbed her wrist as she spoke and he wondered just how fine it was as he nodded and glanced down at his phone.

Shit. 14 missed calls. 3 from Jason, 2 from Ray, 3 from Sonny, 3 from Trent,2 from Clay, and fuck him 1 from Blackburn.

He made the plane with about 3 minutes to spare. The intensely pissed off glare from Jason was being used to mask worry he was sure. In all their years working together Brock had never almost missed a plane and Jason had also never been truly pissed at him.

"You okay?" Trent stood closely trying not to draw attention.

"Yeah just tired. I was sleeping." Brock scratched Cerb's head not looking to Trent as he responded.

"You want an Ambien?" Concern was written across the medic's face.

"No just want some sleep." Brock looked up. "I'll crash after I'm caught up on the mission." He opened the mission briefing packet Davis had handed him while yawning.

"Change your mind I'm around 'kay?"

As he read the report images of Mandy scared and naked flashed across his mind. Her pale skin bruised and cut. The swelling obscuring her features. The darkness of her greasy hair echoing the darkness in the one eye he could actually see. There was a brokenness to her he had seen before. One that he had prayed to never see again.

He had missed track practice due to an academic competition and had decided to run laps once he got back to the school. It wasn't exceptionally late but the school was empty except for the custodial staff. He chatted with Mike as he buffed the floors for a few minutes before heading to the locker room to change and head home. What he wasn't expecting was the crying coming from the girl's locker room. It was a raw sound. Almost a howl. His teenaged mind at first had thought it might be an animal. He still wished he had been right.

The sound of the binder falling from his lap startled Brock making him jump and causing the rest of Bravo to take notice. Reaching out his right hand to pick it up he noticed it shaking and hoped they didn't see it too. The last thing he needed was to be grounded because just like then a rage filled him now. He needed to be in the field, to operate. It was a rage he rarely felt and while it scared him slightly he needed them not to know.

"It's a fourteen hour flight. Take an Ambien, get a few hours sleep and then read the mission brief." Trent was wearing his medic face which he rarely had to do with his best friend but was willing to do when needed.

"I don't need the Ambien." Brock stood and walked to where his hammock was strung up. Climbing inside he desperately tried to rid his mind of the images of scared and broken women. One really just a girl and the other he had considered a friend. After an hour or so he finally climbed back out of the hammock and wandered to Trent who was busy playing cards with Clay and Sonny while Ray and Jason sat nearby.

"I need an Ambien." He said it as though it was an admission of weakness.

Trent got up and grabbed his med kit without a word. When he returned with the medicine he intentionally approached from Brock's left side. When Brock turned and took the pill with his right hand alarm bells rang in the medics mind. Since he had boarded the plane Brock had kept his left arm tucked against his side the the hand across his chest.

"Where are you hurt?" Trent asked refusing to allow his brother to conceal an injury prior to a mission. "Ribs? Shoulder? Or Arm?"

Brock was confused. He wasn't hurt. Whatever Trent thought he was seeing the medic was mistaken. "I have no idea what you're talking about Trent. I'm not hurt, I'm tired."

"Brock... you've been hugging yourself for hours." Ray's words stung as the Clay and Sonny looked away.

"I'm fucking fine see!" Brock threw both his arms into the air to prove his point.

"Alright. You're sitting this one out."

"Come on! Jace I'm fine. Boss, really I'm just tired." Brock's tone calmed into an apology.

"We're not arguing this Brock. You've had a bad week." Jason's eyes met his with concern and empathy.

"Let's give him a few hours and revisit it then Jay." Ray's voice of reason earned a nod from Jason as Trent lead Brock back to his hammock.

Drifting into a drug induced sleep Brock tried to exhale the rage with each breath. This mission had nothing to do with the horror of the last week. That situation had already been handled but the anger had remained.

Six hours later it was decided that he would be allowed to work the mission with his brothers. Once he was on the op his steadiness reappeared and he ablity to compartmentalize wasn't questioned. And so went the following two months. He'd get on the plane, making sure his left arm swung freely, take an Ambien, and put it all in a little box to be dealt with some other day.


	8. Chapter 8

It was two months before anyone on Bravo saw her. Two months of no contact from Mandy Ellis. Texts read but no response received. Then they walked into the ops room and there she stood. Her injuries healed and her head held high while she explained the mission as if the last time they saw her, when she was hurt and violated, had never happened.

Bravo team tried to allow her to pretend but Sonny couldn't help grinning at her, Jason nodded a bit too enthusiastically, Ray smiled while quietly assessing her, Trent scanned over her looking for signs of lingering injuries, Clay asked question after question relishing in her answers and only arguing occasionally. Brock stared at Cerb until the end of the meeting not sure he had actually heard any of it. Standing he walked out without a word.

While the rest of Bravo welcomed back their favorite CIA liaison Brock brushed passed them like a thief fleeing a robbery. He quickly ducked into the closest bathroom trying to regroup before facing his brothers and a long plane ride with no escape. Taking a few deep breaths he looked down to a whining Cerb. "I know boy. We'll go back and see her in just a minute. I just need a minute."

Mandy was gathering the rest of her papers together, organizing the intel, when Brock walked back into the now empty room. He was led by an overly excited Cerb who licked at her hand. Brock shuffled from one foot to the other lacking the confidence he usually wore.

"Welcome back." He finally looked up but not to her eyes.

"Thank you. We leave in 30 minutes though so I don't have time to chat." Mandy took the last of her papers and walked from the room leaving both the man and his dog alone.

Brock walked into his cage with his left arm tucked against his chest. Jason nodded to Trent and Ray that he had seen it as well. Cerberus whined but Brock didn't seem to notice as he packed for the mission.

Working closely with Davis, Mandy assessed and gathered intelligence. Sipping on lukewarm black coffee she scanned the latest satellite maps while Davis worked on getting ISR back online. If she just continued as if everything were fine it would be. As the women worked Bravo team slept in preparation for what seemed like a potentially long drawn out mission.

A week later as a hot, sweaty, hungry, and tired Bravo team reboarded the C-17 Brock dreaded the AAR. The specifics of the mission were a blur. Should he include the visions he repeatedly had of Mandy crying during an internal exam? Should he include the way he had broken his left hand at 17 years old? Because those thoughts were as much a part of the last week as the actual mission he had been sent to accomplish. He hoped maybe Clay or Trent would finish their reports first and quietly allow him to reword it as his own.

Mandy watched them board the plane and contemplated asking Brock for a moment. It wasn't that she didn't feel badly. She did... for blowing him off when he clearly had something to say in the briefing room. At the time she simply couldn't. Focus was needed then but now, now she thought about having a conversation. But watching he shuffle to his hammock and slowly climb in she decided it could probably wait.

Brock glanced in her direction. She seemed fine. She seemed as calm and competent as before. He watched her laugh with Davis and Blackburn. Watched her interact with Sonny and Clay. Ray handed her a beer which she slowly sipped after clinking it against Jason's. She was fine or she was better at hiding the brokenness than he had expected. Better than the girl on the bathroom floor. Maybe holding her hand had helped. As his left fist clenched against his chest he decided to ask Trent for an Ambien.

Trent was inventoring his med kit when Brock approached. Trent immediately noticed the placement of his left arm. Brock was moving slowly but that could be exhaustion.

"Can I have something to sleep?" Brock exhaled as he looked up to his brother.

"Yeah, of course." Trent reached for the ambien. "You want to talk about what's been going on?"

Brock took the pill and shook his head. "Not really. Just need some sleep."

"Brock you used to be able to sleep without meds. You've been asking for them a lot lately."

"I'm sorry... I'll try not to bother you so much with it." Brock bit back turning away.

"Hey! That's not at all what I was saying." Trent's raised voice had the attention of everyone on the C-17.

"Yeah... I'm gonna crash now." Brock walked away leaving Trent confused as to what exactly just happened.

Mandy observed the exchange and regretted her decision not to speak to the man who had been her rock for hours at the beginning of the resolution to the worst week of her life. Brock had spoken softly and held her hand more gently than she expected. For what felt like a lifetime he gripped her hand, she now knew it was about ten hours. He had been her lifeline. In her weakest moments he had never wavered. She watched as his hammock swung slowly and moved to sit closer.


	9. Chapter 9

Brock was disoriented unsure why he had woken. He had slept but not nearly long enough. The gentle sway of his hammock lulling him back toward the sleep he craved. And then he thought heard a whimper.

Brock was sure he imagined the noise. Cerb was sleeping safely in his crate. The others were either also in hammocks or further at the front of the plane, everyone was fine. He snuggled down into his hammock deciding sleep was all he needed.

_He walked down the long hallway toward the locker room to change. He'd shower at home where the water pressure never cut out with curls full of shampoo. Tiredness washed over him and then he heard the noise. It wasn't a scream. It wasn't a howl. It wasn't a cry really either. He thought of a hunting trip with his grandfather around his 14th birthday and the sound of a wounded animal. They'd searched the woods but never figured out what it was or where and Brock felt horrible leaving the thing to suffer. His grandfather had told him that was just the way it was sometimes. Brock hadn't hunted since._

_It was similar. The wail of something wounded. For a split second he considered turning back to get Mike, the janitor. Instead he slowly opened the girl's locker room door._

_Brock crept slowly toward the noise hoping it was somehow not coming from a person. It was. She was laying on the cold tile floor in the shower area soaking wet and shivering uncontrollably. The water was off. Brock stood staring in disbelief for probably too long before he understood what he was seeing. Running down the long hall back to the track and parking area Brock yelled to Mike to call the police and probably an ambulance._

The whimpering cry brought him back to consciousness. This time he knew it was real. Shifting in his hammock he sat up realizing his brothers were awake and at the front of the plane with Davis and Blackburn. Where the hell was Mandy?

Brock swung his legs out as he sat up further. Scanning the area his eyes met Trent's. His best friend looked happy to see him awake. His smile was real and reassuring. Brock wanted to smile back but the slight sound of cries was getting louder. Looking away he knew he needed to talk to Trent, needed to explain.

Standing fully he saw her sitting on the net seats that lined the plane. She was tucked against a crate, in a corner, and within reach of his hammock the entire time. Almost under it, obscured from prying eyes. She looked small. Her head buried in her knees. Arms wrapped tightly around herself.

"I'm going to sit beside you now. If that's not okay I need you to tell me." Brock moved slowly and deliberately.

Mandy stilled as he approached. The weight on the netting beside her the only indication he was near. The warmth of his closeness welcoming.

Brock sat beside her for a few minutes saying nothing before he saw her start to relax slightly. Her breathing was still slightly erratic but was beginning to slow. Her head was resting in the crook of her left arm on her knees and she reached her right hand toward him.

Brock let his left hand fall from his chest. If she needed it she should be able to reach it. As he felt her small hand tuck into the calluses of his larger one he suddenly remembered how tired he was and blinked trying to stay awake. As Mandy shifted closer he lost the battle with wakefulness and drifted back to sleep.

Brock woke feeling rested, the warmth pressed to his left side a comfort. Slowly opening his eyes he saw not only Trent and Ray but also Jason sitting closely watching them sleep. Shifting carefully not to wake her he realized their hands were still connected and her head was resting on his shoulder.

"We will be talking about this and soon." Jason stood and walked to a cooler retrieving another beer.

Brock nodded "Yeah seems to be a theme."

Mandy shifted and sat more upright. "Hey." She let go of his hand but repositioned it so the backs of their hands still grazed against each others. "Everything okay?"

"Just seems that there's a lot to talk about." Ray said as he walked away.

Trent rose to leave but was stopped by Brock asking "Hey can I crash at your place when we get back?"

"Always. Bring Cerb if you want I got the fence fixed."

"He'll like that. Thanks."

They sat silently next to each other for the remainer of the flight knowing that while there was much that needed to be said the silence was comfortable. Mandy stared straight ahead but took his hand once the others left them alone. As the C-17 made it's final approach Brock turned to her "coffee?"

"I know a quiet diner." Mandy replied. "Meet me in the parking lot in thirty?"

Brock walked toward the parking lot twenty minutes later. She was leaning against his truck. She still looked small to him but a bit less broken.

"Are you ever going to look me in the eyes again?" As he pulled out of the parking lot her words startled him. Brock slowed the truck and pulled to the side of the road.

"I'm not sure I can."He stared at his hands gripping the steering wheel, his left hand trembling. "I made a mistake last time. I didn't do it right and it made everything so much worse."

"Last time?" She turned to face him. "What happened last time Brock?"

"I was 17, just a kid really. I found her in the bathroom at school. I reacted badly and she..." his voice broke and silence engulfed them.

They sat for a while as Brock stared ahead and a tear or two slipped down Mandy's face. The sound of the truck idling filled the space. Mandy occasionally glanced toward him not expecting more of a response than he had already been given. As time went on the comfortable quiet began to to awkward.

"So we have a couple options here... go get coffee or I can call someone for a ride back to base." She looked out the passenger window.

Brock put the truck into drive and merged back into the roadway. "So where's the diner you were talking about and do they have food, been eating MREs for a week."

"Burgers are good. Pie is better." She smiled in his direction. "Just keep going straight."

Pulling into the diner a few minutes later Brock jumped from the truck and turned to wait for her. "So this pie you said was good, what kind is the best?"

"I said it was better than good. The strawberry rhubarb is the best though." She laughed.

They sat at the table furtherest from the door and both ordered coffee and pie as the waitress was about to walk away Brock added two bugers to their order.

"Starving?" Her laugh seemed natural and it almost caught him off guard that she was acting so normal.

"I did mention a week's worth of MREs right?" Brock's was surprised by his own laughter joining hers.

Mandy waited for the waitress to finish dropping off the pie and coffee before she spoke. "Tell me about last time when you were 17?"

Brock sipped at the coffee in front of him and fiddled with his fork before speaking. "I was running around the track and went to change before going home. I found her in the girls locker room. She had been assaulted... she was raped. I had seen someone leaving the school as I came in, he was a football player and of course popular. I ran out and found him in the parking lot. I'm not proud of this Mandy. I broke my hand... on his face. The poor girl was so traumatized that she denied the rape. I shouldn't have gone after him. I should have stayed with her. She was tormented. He couldn't finish the season and neither could I in track... we were going to state's. People blamed her. The only reason I didn't end up with an assault charge is the principal liked me and it was technically on school grounds. He pulled strings. She wasn't that lucky. Had no support. I should have checked in with her, made sure she was okay. The last time I saw her was right before school let out for summer. She looked so destroyed. The brokenness in her eyes will haunt me forever." He stabbed at the pie he had yet to taste.

"My God Brock. You were a kid." Mandy stirred more sugar into her coffee. "What happened to the girl?"

Brock reached into his pocket pulling out his wallet. Pulling out a folded and worn newspaper clipping he handed it to Mandy. "She died that summer. Here's her obituary. It says 'passed unexpectedly'... she committed suicide, but no one talked about why though."

"She was only fourteen." Mandy looked down. "Brock look at me." Reaching across the table she put her hand under his chin. When their eyes met she continued. "Brock I'm not a little girl and I'm not broken... a little cracked but not broken."

Brock turned his head away as the waitress approached with their food. The tears were freely streaming down his cheeks and he didn't bother to wipe them. When the waitress disappeared into the kitchen Brock turned back to her. His eyes searched hers, looking for the brokenness he feared would destroy her.

"I'm sorry I doubted you." He glanced at the untouched food.

"Eat. I don't wanna listen to anything else about MREs or cold food." She poured ketchup on her plate. "And Brock I doubted me too. I avoided you before the mission because I wasn't sure how to look you in the eyes. I didn't expect you to feel the same way."

"I was scared."

"Of the brokenness?"

"I guess so, yeah. I didn't know what to do to help her and now..." He let the sentence drop off.

"Now you don't know how to help me but Brock you already did. The entire time I was there I knew Bravo was coming. I never doubted you guys. When I heard Sonny's voice I knew I could finally rest, but then Trent's hands were on me... Brock I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't held my hand. You never flinched... not even at the hospital." A tear trickled down her face as she quickly wiped it away.

"Mandy have you talked about what happened? I mean with anyone?"

"Intensively." She lowered her voice. "The agency wouldn't have cleared me if I didn't actively deal with it."

"I'm glad."

They finished their food and Brock ordered a while pie to take with him back to Trent's house. The drive back to base where her car was parked was quiet. Pulling in beside her car he stepoed out and walked her to her car.

"Thank you for everything Brock. You heading to Trent's now?"

"Yeah I need to talk to him... he's been worried." Brick looked down. "I'm gonna grab Cerb first though."

"Maybe we could get coffee and pie again? It's nice to have someone to talk to who isn't paid to listen..."

"I mean if you want to pay me I wouldn't turn you down... but then again the pie is better than good so I think I'm willing." She laughed as he smiled at her and he looked her in the eyes.

"After missions then. Coffee, pie, burgers, and then more pie." She unlocked her car and climbed inside. He watched her drive out of the parking lot making sure she was on her way home before pulling out himself.


	10. Chapter 10

Trent's house was quiet when Brock arrived. The door was unlocked but the lights weren't on which made Brock uneasy until he saw his best friend sleeping on the couch. There was a cold mug of vanilla coffee sitting on the table to his right. A pang of guilt hit Brock realizing that Trent had attempted to stay up to talk to him and that he needed the vanilla in his coffee tonight.

Cerb jumped into the recliner and curled up letting their brother sleep. Brock took the cold coffee into the kitchen and rinsed the cup. Returning to the living room Trent was sitting up.

"Hey. You wanna go back to sleep? We can talk in the morning." Brock sat at the opposite end of the sofa.

"Haven't been sleeping all that great myself. Can we just do this now?" Trent ran his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, yeah that's fine." Brock leaned back into the cushions closing his eyes for a moment.

"So... what's been going on?" Trent didn't want to push but Brock had been isolating himself and becoming more agitated over the last two months. It was time to push a bit.

"I went to dinner with Mandy. That's why I'm late." Brock sat forward. "I guess I underestimated her a bit. After we found her and she was... hurt... the way she was, it took me back to someone else. Someone I didn't know how to help. Lily. She was just a kid but so was I. She didn't survive the trauma and I wasn't sure I would either..." Brock turned to Trent before speaking again. "But tonight, tonight Mandy laughed and it reached her eyes. They weren't filled with the despair I was expecting. I really think she's okay, I mean as okay as she can be right now... does that make sense?" Brock realized he was rambling.

"It does. She's a damn strong woman." Trent thought back to the physical injuries she had sustained, not allowing himself to revisit the rest, and doubted some members of Bravo would be back after only two months. "So Lily is why you have been so... I don't even know lately?"

"Yeah. I hadn't really allowed myself to think about her for years... after her funeral I sort of put her into this place in my mind where things get dealt with later or never. I guess this is later." A tear slid down his face.

"Brock I've known you a very long time now and I can tell you if that girl could have been helped by you then you would have helped her." There was nothing that could make Trent doubt his brother did everything he was capable of doing.

"I didn't know what to do then."

"Brock I've always believed that every thing that happens in our lives happens for a reason... sometimes the reasons suck but they are still reasons. I also think that every bad thing that happens is preparing us for the next. Without Lily would you have been able to help Mandy?"

"Probably not but that doesn't make the fact that she was so young and so alone any easier." Brock put his hand on Cerb's head. The dog had moved closer as his handler lost some of his composure.

"Didn't mean for it to or for it to sound as though I was saying what happened to her was right. Sometimes things just suck." Trent yawned.

"They really do suck." Brock's own yawn joined Trent's. "I'm sorry I shut you out. I didn't mean to do it."

"Brock you don't have to apologize for having a shitty time with a shitty thing that happened." Trent sat more upright to keep himself awake. "When we first found her... I didn't think. I saw the blood, bruising, and injuries. I didn't see what you saw and I could have made it so much wprse by not seeing it. Brock I would have traumatized her more if you hadn't been there. Thank you for stepping in and helping her feel safer."

"You know Lily was a tiny little blonde with eye's bluer than Clay's but in that moment I saw her instead of Mandy and I knew I had to do better this time." Brock looked toward the clock noting the time.

"Ray would have a lot to say about that I'm sure." Trent chuckled slightly. "Speaking of Ray after you left it was decided that we are doing a team breakfast in the morning."

"I'm sure Sonny would have something asinine to say too." Brock yawned again. "If you don't mind I'm exhausted."

"I was sleeping when you got here, brother." Trent stood and walked toward his bedroom. "Hey Brock, you know I love you right?"

Brock layed back on the couch with Cerb curled at his feet. "Yeah, I do and Trent... same brother."

**A/N~ Well that's about it for this piece. I am still working on Crumpled Papers for anyone wondering. If anyone has any prompts for that story or the next please feel free to send me a PM or leave it in the comments. Hope everyone enjoyed this one and is having a great day. I'm currently buried under a foot or so of snow so I'll be keeping warm and working on fics!**


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